Tuesday 22 March 2011

Top 5 things to do whilst waiting for a train

5) Imagine you are the casting director for your favourite show, say True Blood. Choose lucky candidates from the opposite platform to star in your show. Who would make a good vampire, werewolf or victim? You get to decide. It's a little bit like being an X-factor judge. "Yer reet oop ma street" that's my Cheryl Cole accent. You have the power. Just don't let it go to your head. Also, bit safer to do this in a country where staring at people is accepted social behaviour. If not, wear shades.

4) Play 'Stop the Bus!' This is a game best played with friends. You have a limited time in which to choose a passerby to snog (an imaginary snog). When you see said snog, you have to shout out Stop the Bus! They are now yours to enjoy imaginary snogs with. After this time has elapsed however, if you have not made your choice you are automatically given the next person to walk past. You could be lucky, but the chances are you won't be. This game gets quite competitive as everyone wants to get the best snog that they can and noone wants to be left with some minging old tramp. This can also be played on your own but it's not so fun.

3) Take your chances with the vending machine god. Feeling peckish, you could buy a snack. You think you are in control of buying the snack,you put your pennies in, you make your selection and out comes your snack. No, this is not what happens. Vending Machine God will decide if you get your snack. If you deserve it, you get your snack. If not, it will make your snack get stuck on the way down and laugh at you as you try to nudge the machine to get it out. Your odds are better than at one of those cuddlytoy grabbing machines but they are still not great. The further South in Europe you go, the worse they get. Sometimes, if you've been very good, Vending Machine God will award you two snacks, sometimes you get a snack at someone else's misfortune, sometimes you get your money back and a snack- you have been very good that day but sometimes you get no money and no snack - you have been bad. Sometimes you put in more money and try to buy another snack to knock down your original stuck snack but you get neither because you have been very bad and tried to outsmart the vending machine god - VMG knows better. You can't win.

2) Run through an emergency evacuation in your head. If the lights went out and you had to escape, would you know where the exits were? Would you be a hero and help an old granny to safety or would you trample over everone in your path to save yourself first. This is a good one for those of you who like films like Poseidan Adventure and Towering Inferno. You can also combine this with activity 5 and imagine who would play you in the hollywood remake of the disaster situation. I would probably be played by Charlize Theron.

1) Read a book. Good for people with no imagination and also good for avoiding having to give your seat up to old people - I'm so engrossed in my book, I can't see the elderly person collapsing infront of me. That bookless person sitting over there will have to give up their chair. Ha Ha No-book-loser.

What do you do whilst waiting for the train/metro/plane??

Thursday 27 January 2011

Top 5 Crisp Flavours

Can you imagine a world without a wide variety of crisp flavours?
Hard and almost painful to imagine, I know. I have lived in such a world and let me tell you it was, well, it was pretty rubbish.

Growing up, I wasn't allowed nice things. We had no treats cupboard in our house, only apple flavoured vitamin pills which I used to try to trade at school for real snacks. Some of the dumber kids or those who had no friends would fall for this ruse but mostly I was stuck with my piece of fruit and soggy salad sandwich. Sad times.
On a rare occasion I was allowed some of those Salt n Shake crisps, which I'd fight tooth and nail over with my brother and sister. This was quite exciting but nothing compared to what I was about to discover when I went to secondary school. The Vending Machine! Charlie & the Chocolate Factory in a big black box. Ace!
When I was in my late teens, I spent a year in the South of Spain. Everything about this year was fantastic. I'd even go so far to say it was the best year of my life but there was one thing that tainted the experience, you could only get plain crisps. Not even fancy plain crisps, just rubbishy plain crisps.
I'm talking about the potato variety. You could get cheesy puffs but these were quite rubbish too and I'd classify them as a different corn-based snack.
Luckily my friend visiting from the UK came to the rescue. She brought with her the holy grail, a mouth-watering, family-size, variety pack of Golden Wonder crisps! Forgetting that everything shut after midday on a Saturday, we found ourselves without food in the house. So, we had a 3 course meal which consisted entirely of crisps.
Prawn Cocktail to start, Beef for main with some Plain ones on the side and finished with the Cheese (& Onion) course. A gastronomic triumph!

My top 5 crisp flavours are:

5. Sour Cream and Chive Pringles. It really is amazing that once you start popping these rascals, you really can't stop. A bit on the pricey side and after about 30 they do get a bit sickening.

4. Black Pepper Kettle Chips. Can't get these in Spain as far as I know. These are tasty but overpriced in my opinion.

3. McCoys Cheese & Onion. I like the crinkle cut texture and they are nice and cheesy. Again, unavailable here but I like to include them in my meal deal at Boots when I'm back home. I feel satisfied after a bag of these and don't feel like I need anymore. Maybe just a tad too cheesy though.

2. Campesino (Spanish country peasant flavour) They taste sort of like paprika crisps but much nicer. Whenever these are purchased, they are wolfed down by urban family in less than 2 minutes.

1. Got to be Salt & Vinegar. Just love them. Unbeatable. Simply the best.
I like Salt & Vinegar McCoys, Discos, Squares, Lays/Walkers. Any variety really, you can't go wrong with a packet of S&V.

What's your favourite crisp?