Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Top 5 things to do whilst waiting for a train

5) Imagine you are the casting director for your favourite show, say True Blood. Choose lucky candidates from the opposite platform to star in your show. Who would make a good vampire, werewolf or victim? You get to decide. It's a little bit like being an X-factor judge. "Yer reet oop ma street" that's my Cheryl Cole accent. You have the power. Just don't let it go to your head. Also, bit safer to do this in a country where staring at people is accepted social behaviour. If not, wear shades.

4) Play 'Stop the Bus!' This is a game best played with friends. You have a limited time in which to choose a passerby to snog (an imaginary snog). When you see said snog, you have to shout out Stop the Bus! They are now yours to enjoy imaginary snogs with. After this time has elapsed however, if you have not made your choice you are automatically given the next person to walk past. You could be lucky, but the chances are you won't be. This game gets quite competitive as everyone wants to get the best snog that they can and noone wants to be left with some minging old tramp. This can also be played on your own but it's not so fun.

3) Take your chances with the vending machine god. Feeling peckish, you could buy a snack. You think you are in control of buying the snack,you put your pennies in, you make your selection and out comes your snack. No, this is not what happens. Vending Machine God will decide if you get your snack. If you deserve it, you get your snack. If not, it will make your snack get stuck on the way down and laugh at you as you try to nudge the machine to get it out. Your odds are better than at one of those cuddlytoy grabbing machines but they are still not great. The further South in Europe you go, the worse they get. Sometimes, if you've been very good, Vending Machine God will award you two snacks, sometimes you get a snack at someone else's misfortune, sometimes you get your money back and a snack- you have been very good that day but sometimes you get no money and no snack - you have been bad. Sometimes you put in more money and try to buy another snack to knock down your original stuck snack but you get neither because you have been very bad and tried to outsmart the vending machine god - VMG knows better. You can't win.

2) Run through an emergency evacuation in your head. If the lights went out and you had to escape, would you know where the exits were? Would you be a hero and help an old granny to safety or would you trample over everone in your path to save yourself first. This is a good one for those of you who like films like Poseidan Adventure and Towering Inferno. You can also combine this with activity 5 and imagine who would play you in the hollywood remake of the disaster situation. I would probably be played by Charlize Theron.

1) Read a book. Good for people with no imagination and also good for avoiding having to give your seat up to old people - I'm so engrossed in my book, I can't see the elderly person collapsing infront of me. That bookless person sitting over there will have to give up their chair. Ha Ha No-book-loser.

What do you do whilst waiting for the train/metro/plane??


gaby said...

pelvic floor exercises!

gaby said...

that was in answer to your question: "What do you do whilst waiting for the train/metro/plane??", by the way, not just some random comment.
Could be quite fun, combined with some of your suggestions...

Browna said...

run at full speed towards platform 9 and three quarters.

Jason tells it like it is! said...

I like to work everyone out! Y'know, what they do, are they married, have they ever been gay, do they cheat, how they treat their friends and family, have they ever taken drugs... stuff like that! Hours of fun... well, until you get ff anyway!

Simon Peltzer said...

I like to stuff my rucksack under my shirt and recite something in arabic while looking like I'm having an anxiety attack, like it might be my last five minutes on Earth. Just stand back and watch the fear spread amongst the westerners! Afterwards, eveyone feels happy that they didn't die and they really make the most of that day.